Sometimes I make bad decisons. We all do from time to time. Some people do drugs, other people wear glittery jeggings.
Mistakes happen.
This morning I made the mistake of going to the restroom. It was a cruel twist of fate when God decided one of the bi-products of giving birth was the necessity to empty ones bladder frequently. I need to invent mommy pads. Similar to puppy pads, but covering a larger surface area. Trust me after three labor and delivery experiences I would have no problem dropping my pants and peeing in a public corner.
But I digress: the bathroom break. I should've known something was seriously wrong because I actually peed alone. Warning signals should have been flaring but clearly I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I emerge from the restroom proud that I've finally succeeded in teaching my children to respect my privacy and personal space.
HA.
Cue me walking into what can only be described as a cereal explosion. Audrey had only had four breakfasts at this point, so she must have gotten extremely hungry in the 30 seconds I dared leave her side. She had helped herself to the supersized, brand new, box of cereal. I've been trying to teach her about portion control but in her rush she decided to go for the portion titled: dump entire box of cereal over my head.
Meara has been pretty sad that the snow has all melted. She hasn't actually communicated this sadness with me but since she was making cereal snow angels I can only make this assumption.
This isn't my first rodeo with Audrey attempting to impersonate the contestants on top chef and I'll take my lumps where they are due. I left the cereal out. Rookie mistake.
I accept my bad decison karma and begin to clean up the 5 million pieces of crunched up cereal. Olaf(aka snow loving cereal eating Meara) pitches in and we have just about gotten it cleaned up when Audrey comes strolling over.
My heart drops.
She is carrying the bottle of laundry detergent.
The empty bottle.
Never one to miss an opportunity, when I went to get the vacuum she went to do some cleaning. She couldn't find a rag or soap so she opted for some dirty underwear and a full container of laundry soap.
Now I could go ahead and curl in the fetal position and cry, but I've decided to see the positive in my morning. So here they are:
1. No need for lunch, they've taken care of this themselves.
2. No necessary to vaccum again today because my last bag is currently full.
3. Audrey smells like a lavendar spring rain. Yum.
4. Don't have to do any laundry. No more detergent
5. The floors are super shiny. If I step on them I may fall and die but they're super shiny.
