Boobs.

I don’t often cover controversial topics, mainly because my kids like to clog the toilets for fun, so I get my share of pain and discomfort the good old fashioned way.

But today I’m feeling bold and bloated so here goes nothing.

I did not feed my child yesterday when he was hungry.

Cue the collective internet throwing tomatoes and judgement at me. I’ll take the tomatoes, those are a favorite snack of mine, and the judgement is routine as well but today I’m on your side internet, because no baby should go hungry. After hours of errands, and appointments, I had a very fussy nearly one year old who wanted to nurse while waiting to be seen for a doctor’s appointment. And I made him wait 15 minutes until we got home.

·         Because I was selfish and didn’t want to deal with the stares.

·         Because I had all three of my kids with me and feeding him in the car just wasn’t logistically feasible while also waiting for our name to be called.

·         Because he thinks eating under a blanket is ridiculous. When was the last time you pitched  tent to eat some cheez its?

·         Because the bathroom wasn’t big enough for all of us and Audrey when left unsupervised leaves a trail of tator tots and tears in her wake.

·         Because he does not take a bottle.

Here is the thing, I don’t give two hoots how you feed your kid. I think formula is awesome. I think Mcdonald’s double cheeseburgers are even more awesome.

I think if you have happy kid who isn’t hungry you are basically nailing this entire parenting thing. I don’t judge how anyone does anything. There are a million different ways to accomplish the same thing. We all have the same goal: happy, healthy, kids.

I DON’T think by practicing extended breastfeeding I am better than anyone. Lord knows, I think the opposite of that. I don’t think my children are going to be the next Einstein’s because of it either. My middle child likes to store rocks in her pants for fun. Its a real hobby of hers. I think she's basically the best thing since sliced bread, but clearly all the breast milk didn't squash her natural love of dirt down her pants or her passion for wearing miss-matched shoes with a headband as a belt.

What I do think is this:

I worry for my daughters who are being raised in a world where feeding a hungry baby is taboo. I think that it is totally ridiculous that breast have been so sexualized that their natural God given purpose has been lost. I think its incredibly sad that we live in a world where anxiety and publicly feeding a child go hand in hand. I think after over 4 years of nursing I still have much to learn.

I think next time I will just feed my baby. Or gasp, my TODDLER.

Because haters gonna hate.

Love and light from another momma in the struggle <3

What a World

Today I dressed my kids in red, white, and blue. Not because it was an appropriate holiday, not because I am proud of the state this country is currently in, but because I have hope amid this despair.

I have hope that despite this terrifying world filled with senseless violence, and unfounded bigotry that our children will see past what is, to what can be.

Every morning I wake up and pad through my quiet, dark house. There is a baby on my hip and other children in tow. I make a cup of coffee, sit in the rocking chair (usually with at least 2 little lap mates) and I prepare myself.

I prepare myself for the state of this world, to learn of the most recent act of terror, the next lives brutally lost, the next senseless loss of a nation torn.

And amid children’s laughter, with sweet baby breath on my shoulder I mourn.

Today I dressed my children in the colors of our flag. The red signifying to me the blood of the innocent, the blue the bruised and battered heart of our country, but the white: hope.

Pure and unadulterated hope.

Because you see, we can change this. We can change this through Meara, and Audrey, and Sullivan. I can raise my children to see the good in the world. I can raise my children to be empathetic and understanding. To have a heart full of love and a mind so open it knows no limiting boundaries so small such as prejudice. To raise the next generation to know that hate is a vicious poison that kills both the victim as well as the wielder.  Children who know love is a universal medicine.

The world is a terrifying place.

But we can change this.

Love and light from another momma in the struggle<3