So back in the day when I washed on a regular basis and owned clothes that weren't 95 percent lycra I was in a sorority.
Some people might assume my bachelor's degree in education or my minor in early childhood has prepared me to be a mother of small children. They'd be wrong.
What prepared me were my sorority days.
Indulge me and I'll elaborate.
Mini cheeseburger lunch days made my heart swell, crazy dance moves happened on the daily, and getting ready to go out was a community event. Basically I just described my three year old's dream day. Therefore, I've made this notevenkindofcomprehensive list. ENJOY.
1. Recruitment: long hours spent incessantly singing the same damn song loudly for hours.
Um. I do this daily except now I yell "PLEASE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON" while singing Barney to unimpressed toddlers.
2. Weekly meetings: at times tedious but usually provided information I needed to prepare me for the days ahead. In truth these meetings prepared me for potty training. Now I'm the "president" and my recruit is rolling her eyes at my speeches and pooping behind the couch.
3. The sorority girl look. I was first introduced the the glorious concept of looking homeless out in public during my college years. I've taken this notion to heart and honed it to a tee. I'd like to thank my sorority for introducing me to over sized tshirts, leggings as outerwear, and the concept of spacing showers based on when you have to wear pants with buttons.
4. The sorority bathroom was pivotal in developing me for motherhood. It was here that I first peed surrounded by other people, while simultaneously discussing the weather and our opinions about sonic chili cheesedogs.
5. Most people don't realize that sororities are very philanthropic. I spent many hours doing services projects to better our community. I'm super philanthropic now. I cut the crust off of all sandwiches and have been known to give up my last cheese stick to a child in need. The time in my sorority taught me how to be a servant to others. There is nothing more selfless than cleaning someone else's poop out of the bathtub. True life.
6. Socials: We worked hard, and played harder. All nighters were common and usually involved drinking questionable things out of large plastic cups, followed by eating 5 tacos in bed, and possibly crying while watching Lassie with 5 other girls.
Yesterday I stayed up all night, then drank my coffee out of a princess Sofia cup, ate 2 tacos, and cried when the seek part of hide and seek became a reality. So I'm consistent!
7. My sorority had a great designated driving program. Basically we took turns making sure our buddies got home safely if they decided to go out. These car rides involved crying, laughing, Britney Spears lip syncing, glitter, sadly at times vomit, and often ended with cheeseburgers.
I basically just described every road trip I've ever taken with my children.
8. Anyone who's been in a sorority, fraternity, or basically any club knows they can be pretty competitive with each other. My college held all sorts of events where we competed: highest gpa, dance competitions, community service, float building, athletic games. You name it, we probably competed in it. Surprisingly enough one of my strongest talents is eating. I'm super good at it. I seem to possess a natural ability to enhale food. I once led my sorority to an eating competition victory by enhaling an entire pumpkin pie only using my face in under 2 minutes.
I did the same thing with my bacon and eggs this morning while my 2 year old tried to nail me in the face with a plate. Touche sorority life, touche.
I could continue, but it's time for another team meeting around the toilet. To my sorority- I give the glory.
Love and light from another momma in the struggle ♡
