Monday, April 17, 2017

Off the Beaten Path

I've sat and thought on this for months; debating what to share and what to keep private. In the end if by sharing our story I can help one person or raise some awareness, then it will have been worth it.

Let me tell you about my daughter Audrey.  She lights up every room she enters. She has a love for life that rivals any I've ever seen. Audrey has the ability to see the beauty and joy in things so many of us miss. She is a fighter and a free spirit.

Audrey has Autism.

I could tell you about the struggles. I could tell you about the countless tests, doctors, clinics; about the years without sleep, the seizures, and the brokenness you feel as a parent when you see your child struggle. I could tell you about the ignorant comments, the rampant misinformation out there, the fight you go through every single day as a parent to advocate for someone who can't do so themselves. I could tell you about the fears, the heartache, the lonliness that accompanies joining a club you never had any intention of joining: the special needs moms.

But instead I will tell you about my Audrey. She breaks every stereotype- even the ones within her diagnosis. She defies all odds. She fights harder and longer for things, but with each accomplishment the sense of joy is tripled. She teaches me every day what it means to love with abandon. She humbles me.

I once tried to explain Audrey to a nurse during a particularly rough test (EEG). I was translating Audrey's incoherent words after hours of fear laced tears for both of us. She looked at me mid speech- interupted, and said: "I suspect you and Audrey will always have a language of your own."

And that was that: understanding, acceptance, grace, and the beauty of our bond recognized by an outsider in the space of ten seconds.

Robert Frost has a poem I enjoy, specifically the line: "Two roads diverged in a wood, I took the one less traveled and that has made all the difference."

Having a child with autism is a different path; but sometimes the greatest beauty is found off the beaten road and our biggest journeys found when the destination is set to unknown.




Audrey has autism. It does not define her.  She doesn't let it.
Therefore, neither will I.

Love and Light ♡