In My Past Life I Was a Construction Worker.

I mom hard.

By mom hard I mean my kids eat frozen chicken nuggets and I make generous donation to the school bake sale instead of baking while flashing my " I've actually caught a house on fire while boiling water" paperwork.

This is why no one should've been surprised to find me surveying the local construction work about a mile from my house. Quality road work  matters. By surveying I mean nervously waving to construction workers and confused drivers while power walking with a purpose.

Let me backtrack. Audrey had a doctors appointment. A lengthy, scratch your eyes out, torturous doctors appointment. This left my mom (God bless her) with the buddha baby.

My baby is a boob baby. Girl doesn't miss a meal...Hell she doesn't miss a chance to motorboat herself catatonic in remebrance of a meal.(Don't act like you haven't done the same thing after a 2am taco bell cheesy gordita crunch run.) She does however miss every chance possible to take a bottle. God rest my mother's sanity, she was left with the 3 others, some pumped milk, and a long last look of pity.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
They weren't.

So after spending a few hours physically wrestling Audrey in front of some very confused parents and reassuring the nurse that her new elbow sized face bruise actually makes her look thinner we get the SOS call from my mom and head home.
Boob baby down.

We are hauling butt home. Im nervous mom sweating at this point. You moms know what im talking about. You know your baby has lost her shit so you're trying not to shit your pants. Cue road work from hell.

15 minutes we sit. 15 minutes. We are a mile away. You know those points in movies where the main character finally snaps and you know shits about to get real? This was me. Shit was about to get real, and not just in my pants.

I turn to my husband and say very calmy: " I'm getting out". Relationship goals yall. This is how you know you've reached them.

He glances at me and says:  "ok bye"
Clearly this man knows my brand of crazy. There was no um are you nuts, this is grid lock traffic, you're a mile away, the roads are torn up, there are no sidewalks, its hot. Nope, not from my guy. "ok bye".
Byyyyeeeeee.

Have you ever hit a deer? That deer in the headlight look is a real thing. I got this look from about 32 confused people sitting in cars who had the privilege of watching me scramble around chunks of road, cones, and do not cross tape.

It was almost as comical as the construction worker's faces. I decided to play it real awkward with them though, and just do some small waving and head nodding. Just taking a tour boys, great job. Love what you did with that corner back there!

So a mile later I arrive home. I roll in ( aka drag) my out of shape wheezing, sweaty, crazed look mom on a mission, give me that baby, roll in.

Baby is good. Kids are good.
Cue my husband pulling in approximately 3 minutes later.

What is the lesson in this story you may ask?
There is no crazy like mom crazy.
And my feet hurt.

Love and light ♡