I know some of us moms mayyyyyy occasionally spend frivolously at locations such as target, Walmart, Amazon prime: 2 day shipping?! Well yes, maybe I actually do need 4 pair of panty hose, 3 can openers, and a can of aqua spray by Tuesday, thank you very much, and occasionally a trip to the liquor store. Can we talk about the emotional turmoil toddlers inflict? Sometimes momma needs a glass of red wine to dull the pain. And memories.
But I'm here to stop the madness. We do not need a meat dehydrator or 12 packs of sticky buns. I don't care if you have a coupon!!! And the only thing you've dehydrated lately is yourself as you cried into your wine. We are already doing the jobs of these products. We need to save our money for important things, like therapy and botox for the wrinkles our children cause!
So mommas, here are some things we can STOP purchasing!
1. A vacuum. I personally, this week alone have eaten off the floor 45 goldfish crackers, half a hot dog bun, and some smooshed carpet cheese. My toddler has eaten all the dirt particles she can locate, some dryer lint, and some old canned corn. The dog has taken care of the rest. Vaccuming clearly is for the childless. Snack as needed and let your blessings from heaven, and the dog take care of the rest.
2. Soap. Now I know I'm losing some of you on this one. You glance over at your child. They're covered in dog hair encrusted play dough, broken dreams, and string cheese. You think to yourself, but my kid smells of old socks and urine. I say to you, within 4 minutes of being awake your child will be covered in peanut butter and riding the guinea pig. Lets just accept our losing battles. Soap is for childless people ages 18 and older. End of story.
3. All clothing. Because I personally go through like 3 outfits minimum per child by 8:30am and by 9 I glance over to catch sight of a butt cheek leaping off the furniture with what sounds like someone shouting war cries for their home land. Why are we spending money on this?! Clearly our children appreciate a good breeze on their bottoms and sand in their orifices. Who are we to deny them this joy?
4. All fruits and vegetables. I see you have baked a lovely vegetable quiche with a side of quione and organic stewed beets. I don't know if you noticed your children crying in the corner, eating the dry wall, and requesting a hot dog, but they clearly seem to be in some sort of medical distress. I really hope you are cpr certified. Lets let this battle go for now and go ahead and just slide that toddler a nugget under the table. Bonus points if you wink. Next time you consider spending 10 dollars on organic edame remember the joy on your child's face when you handed then a pack of Scooby snacks. Just saying.
5. All of the ridiculously expensive toys. Listen I think it's fabulous your kid has a $200.00 doll who has a more impressive passport and wardrobe than I do, but is it really necessary? My kids are currently eating mud and playing with some dirty socks: just as happy and much cheaper.
6. The five million classes you enroll your little nugget of love in. I'm not knocking activities. They're awesome. My little nugget is attending dance. We are praying she doesn't get the ax after her last Shakira impression, but so far so good. I'm talking about the kids who are enrolled in dance, gymnastics, french, public speaking, basket weaving, and masonry at the age of 2. You know who has a baby genius? Probably not you. So save your money, and have some fun with your kiddo while they still believe you when you tell them you have no idea where their beautiful, bedazzled, talking, doll from hell went.
Now these are just some small money saving ideas. It might be wiser to coupon, cut the wine, and stop buying children's programs in desperation from Netflix.
Either way you choose to budget, this momma has your back.
Love and light from another momma in the struggle ♡
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