Post partum - not really my favorite thing. I have been struggling with the changes I see in my body. The hips that are wider, the rib cage that separated massively to encompass a 23.5 inch baby, the loose skin, stretch marks, bags under my eyes, and a chest I don't know what to do with. I dream of pants that zip, and bras that fit. I know I'm not alone in this and that it isn't exclusive to immediate post partum women. Motherhood changes everything:from the capacity of our hearts to the capacity of our hips. So, today I am going to attempt to put it into perspective for myself and for you too my friends, just in case I'm not alone. I say alone "figuratively" since I have 2 kids trying to put cheese puffs in my belly button right now.
My hips are wider. They are wider from carrying three perfectly healthy humans to full term in 4 years. They are wider from birthing those babies, from the act of bringing life into the world. If that isn't sacred I don't know what is. My hips are wider and I earned those hips. Those hips know the perfect rythm to sway a child to sleep. Those hips have carried, tossed, rocked, and chased my children. They've carried the weight of my body and three others.
And they are beautiful.
My rib cage has seperated. It seperated to make room for my growing children. I think it had to make room for my heart as well. With each child a bit of my heart walks the earth. These shoulders carry the weight of the world, while also the weight of a sweet sleeping head. Yes, my rib cage is larger now. But it is beautiful.
My skin bears the marks of motherhood. It has stretched in ways that didn't seem possible. Organs have shifted, ligaments torn, rib cage bruised. I have the marks of my children's existence etched permanently on my body. One day they will be grown and I will still carry those marks as a bittersweet reminder of these sacred years. I will never regret that. My skin may not be beautiful by a normal standard but to my children there is no safer place than in my arms, snuggled into this body that has seen such changes.
These are my badges of motherhood and they are beautiful.
I looked into the mirror this morning and didnt recognize the tired face looking back: bags under my eyes, dirty hair, the beginnings of a permanent crease between my eyebrows. The bags are caused from sleepless nights of rocking, holding, and walking my children. From sleepless nights of worry, from over analyzing every decision, and late night prayers that I am doing this right. They are formed from sleepless nights with sick babies, from sleepless nights with scared toddlers, from sleepless nights of laundry, bill paying, and trying to catch up on a life that seems ten steps ahead. The line between my eyebrows has formed from a look of constant confusion from my kid's crazy behavior(but seriously, I'm still confused). It has formed from belly laughs, heart ache, and lessons learned the hard way from my sweet babies. Every bag, every wrinkle, every grey hair, and visible sign of imperfection is beautiful because they tell the story of my journey through motherhood-of the lessons I've been taught by my greatest teachers.
My body is not perfect. It is a direct reflection of the path I've taken the past four years. That path has not been without flaws. Much like my body there have been grooves, and bumps, changes and shifts.
But it is beautiful nonetheless.
And so are you momma.
Love and light ♡.
No comments:
Post a Comment